more challenges a marriage resolves within, the stronger it becomes; severity
of issues or magnitude notwithstanding. Marital infidelity is, however,
commonly considered a grave violation of trust… a sellout.
Marital unfaithfulness issues are one of those tough challenges that sometimes prove very difficult to surmount. Infact it terminates marriages in over half of the proven cases.
This is so because of the feeling of pain and betrayal on the cheated.
In some circumstances, it could be in the best interest of the couple to work through this challenge and cut a fresh path for a better-ordered relationship. Many have found true happiness and abiding love after the knocks of marital infidelity were taken out of the way.
But it is not that simple to forgive all that unfaithfulness, lies and deceit that have now come to light.
Also, forgiveness is not only the business of the cheated. The cheater and the cheated ought to work together for the best expected result.
The cheated should be able to overcome her hurt and ignore all the screaming voices in her which call for revenge and retribution.
Nobody said forgiveness – particularly this type – was easy. You were giving out your best in the marriage while he was busy stabbing you in the back. Perhaps you were the last to know, or believe. Even when you asked, he lied and lied…and lied!
The major reason for forgiving him should be if there is still binding factors, like love and affection, between you two. Otherwise it is pointless talking about forgiveness.
In working through this, show of anger and disappointment is normal but it should be expressed in a non-violent way. The cheater should understand that forgiveness is only given out of commitment and is only worthwhile if it engenders transparent, honest relationship.
When you forgive, you let go of every ill-feeling and grudge. If there are areas that you overlooked in the relationship that fertilized his marital infidelity, then readjust your style. The new phase of your lives should reflect corrections and deeper respect.