The discovery or confirmation that the so-called other woman is real after all, and has your husband in her grips is not a funny revelation. Very few things can stun a woman harder.
Bewilderment, consternation, dismay…so much indescribable emotions.
Then self-searching takes over.
Where did I go wrong?
Why was I such a big fool even in the face of apparent clues of his amorous ways?Why did I so trust even with stories of men and their ways?
These are all natural questions. Not just because of the hurt felt, but because infidelity discovery, even if all the while suspected, is still devastating. Particularly, the unveiling of the other woman may throw up surprises in identity. And you, the victim, may be the last to know what seemed to have gone on for too long.
I have come to know that no questions deserve a fuller, complete, answer than the ones that reveal the person and style of the other woman.
1. Who is she?
2. What made her a successful seductress or a willing collaborator?
The person of the intruder and her method should guide you, going forward. Whatever decision you take subsequently in the relationship, the complete answers will make you wiser – never to be fooled again.
That other woman entry point is distributed thus:
1. 65% - Someone he met at the work place – co-worker, customer…
2. 15% - A known
face in the family – friend (of somebody in the family), neighbor etc
3. 20% - A casual meeting some other place which developed to an affair.
Your husband does not necessarily have to have a personality weakness or marital crisis to be unfaithful.
Simple enough, the mistress was able to corner your man because of subtle methods of influence that charmed him. I call the methods ‘Trappers’.
It is important to understand the roving mind of man which often leads many into cheating. The difference between one woman and another – perceived or real – is the cause of many a man’s philandering.
This may have nothing to do with beauty or good looks.
No woman can lure any man until the man comes close. This closeness may be physical or mental. The immediate tactic of a scheming woman after the initial meeting is to offer the man enough incentives return. The three most powerful incentives:
No man is really deceived about the direction or effect of the devises of the other woman; but some other factors may push him to fall.